remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
