dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
