Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
