if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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