love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
