Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize