I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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