If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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