is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Randomize
