I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
