two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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