garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
