Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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