I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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