Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
