No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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