Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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