I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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