he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
