YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
