I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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