I think I died a long time ago.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
