do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
