my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize