I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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