My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
