Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
