Small penises have feelings too.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
