And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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