i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We just shotgunned beers for America
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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