I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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