thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
then he tried to convert me to islam
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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