I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize