This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
