Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
