I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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