I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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