I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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