I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
