I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
