Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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