I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
