I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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