If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
