She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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