I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize