Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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