His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
