too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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