We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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