we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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