But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
