I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
