you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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