I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
