AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
A+ Viking dick
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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