so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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