I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
