woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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