grandma shit on top of the toilet
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
