My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
