guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
