not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
