At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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