peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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