He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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