My brain says no but my pants say off.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
