I want to stick my p in your. b.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
