I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
