god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
